iChart

January 25, 2010

iChart

Greetings, fellow trudgers on “the road of happy destiny”…

One of my favorite expressions is: “I have enough; There is enough; I am enough.” Trouble is, I’m not sure I believe it.

Why is it so hard to believe? Is it that I’m so used to negative messages?

“I’m not worth it; life sucks; I’m alone; I’ll never work again; my body is terrible; I’m dumb; people are no good; I’m incompetent; I’m not lovable,” etc. I see messages like these. They push me toward a life of resentment, discontent and self-hatred. They drive me toward acting out in all kinds of completely insane ways. It’s a miracle I haven’t ended up pushing a shopping cart, wearing six coats and muttering to myself about how it’s all Dick Cheney’s fault.*

Just for today, I’ll be reminded that messages of self-worth may not be the first things I notice, but I can look for them. I can start (of course) with gratitude for the things I am blessed with. I can stop trying to control things (the things I can’t control might be good starting points). I can ask for help. I can receive help when it’s given.

I can breathe.

As my perspective is changed, I find serenity. As my serenity improves, I find connection. As I become connected, I find an end to suffering. When I stop living in suffering, I become open to a life of freedom, joy, love and peace.

Happy trails!

J.

PS * Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean it’s not true.

Teeter-totter

July 3, 2009

Teeter-totter

Teeter-totter

Greetings, fellow trudgers “on the road of happy destiny”…

I stumbled across a reading the other day I thought notable not just for what it says, but for its author, Reinhold Neiburh. Some may recognize Nieburh as the American theologian attributed with having written the original poem from which was derived the now-legendary Serenity Prayer:

“Man, who stands at the juncture of nature and spirit, is the subject of both freedom and necessity. On the one hand, he is involved in the order of nature and is therefore bound. On the other hand, as spirit he transcends nature and himself and is therefore free. Being both bound and free, both limited and unlimited, he invariably experiences anxiety.

“To teeter at the extremes of self-love and self-loathing, to pursue perfection because we despise our imperfections—is to find neither satisfaction in successes nor wisdom in failures. We tend to sway precariously on the teeter-totter of life, running from one extreme to the other, missing the point that the only stable place to be is in the mixed-up middle. In reality, that is the only place we can be.”

The Serenity Prayer reads,

“God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference.”

Happy trails!