July 2, 2009



Greetings, fellow trudgers “on the road of happy destiny”…

In the midst of a ten-round bout with isolation (and isolation was winning) I did some reading about affirmations today. I struggle to believe that they can be true for me, but I’ve heard that it doesn’t matter whether I truly believe them—it only matters that I’m willing to say them, whether in solutide, prayer, or with another.

Here’s what I read:*

“One cost of addiction and coaddiction is loss of faith in our abilities. We can learn to reprogram ourselves with positive, healthy messages. We can select from a list the affirmations that have meaning for us, or add some of our own. Each affirmation is written in the present—as if we are already accomplishing it. It may not be a reality for us today. We may need to “act as if.” It may be difficult, but we can think of it as planting a garden, with possibilities that will blossom into wonderful realities. We can put the list on the bathroom mirror and repeat them while we wash up. We can keep a copy in the car to repeat while driving. We can record these comforting words and listen to them when driving, during meals, at bedtime:

• Today I accept that the life I have known is over.

• I am entering a new and blessed phase of my time here.

• I accept pain as my teacher and problems as the key to a new existence for me.

• I seek guides in my life and understand that they may be different than I anticipate.

• I accept the messages surrounding me. Negativity is replaced with positive acceptance.

• I realize that I have had a hard life and that I deserve better.

• I let the Spirit melt the hardness of my heart.

• I comfort and nurture myself. As part of the surrender of my pride I will let others give to me as an act of faith in my value as a person.

• I appreciate that in the chaos of the now, my instinct and beliefs may work against me. My recovering friends help me sort out healthy instincts and beliefs from unhealthy ones.

• Time is transforming my loneliness into solitude, my suffering into meaning, and my relationships into intimacy.

• I do not blame or search for fault. It is not who, but how, and what happened.

• I commit to reality at all costs, knowing that is where I will find ultimate serenity.

• I accept that life is difficult and that leaning into the struggle adds to my balance.”

Happy trails.

Keep the faith.

* PS Reprinted from A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps, by Dr. Patrick Carnes